Talking About Emotions, Mental Health, and Suicide Prevention from Childhood to Adolescence

Writings about suicide and suicidal thoughts go back as far as 2000 BCE, showing that this is not a new issue. While suicide will likely always exist in some form, that does not mean we are powerless. Today, suicide is a public health crisis. One reason is that it remains a subject many people avoid. Silence allows the problem to grow. We need more open, honest conversations about emotions and mental health—and those conversations should begin earlier than most people realize.

Early Childhood: Birth to Age 3

Babies feel emotions from birth, and they begin to recognize language long before they can speak. Between birth and about age 3, children start learning that they have emotions and what those emotions feel like. But they don’t automatically know how to express them in healthy ways.

That’s where adults come in. It’s important to acknowledge children’s feelings and label them with the right words. For example:

“I see you’re sad. Would you like a hug?”
“I can tell you’re frustrated. It’s okay to feel that way, and I understand why.”

Avoid scolding children for being sad, angry, or frustrated. Instead, consistently reinforce two lessons:

You have emotions.
It is okay to feel them.

Early Social Years: Ages 3–7

As children begin preschool or kindergarten, they start interacting more with peers. At this stage, the focus expands: it’s always okay to have emotions, but it is never okay to hurt yourself or others because of them.

For example:

If a child is angry because someone took their toy, hitting is not acceptable. Healthier options include asking for the toy back, walking away, or telling the teacher.
If a child is sad at recess and hits a wall out of frustration, they are hurting themselves. That’s also not okay.

These lessons must be taught calmly, gently, and consistently. Adults should model emotional control while guiding children.

Preteens: Ages 8–12

In this stage, earlier lessons are reinforced while adding an important new one: if someone is being hurt—or is hurting themselves—it is important to tell a trusted adult.

This can be difficult, since children at this age are very focused on friendships and may worry about being seen as “tattling.” But when safety is at stake, there must be a clear exception. Encourage children to speak up to a parent, teacher, coach, pastor, or any adult they trust.

Adolescence and Puberty

Before puberty begins, prepare children for the changes they will experience. Hormones trigger rapid physical, emotional, and mental development, including:

Emotional changes: mood swings, stronger feelings, new attractions.
Brain development: changes in areas tied to decision-making and impulse control, making emotions feel more intense.
Sleep patterns: melatonin release shifts later, so teens often feel awake at night and tired in the morning.

Many teens describe their emotions at this age as feeling like “tangled spaghetti.” This is only intensified by being surrounded by peers who are also going through the same challenges.

This is the right time to talk about suicide directly. Be clear, calm, and straightforward. Explain that sometimes people react to overwhelming emotions by making irreversible choices. Introduce the meaning of the semicolon (;) as a reminder to pause before acting—pause and breathe, pause and pray, or pause and choose another action.

Encourage teens to build a plan for managing strong emotions:

Pause. Take a breath, step away, or ground yourself.
Reach out. Have a list of trusted people to call, with a backup plan if the first isn’t available.
Do something. Redirect energy into a healthy outlet—writing, music, exercise, or even chores like washing dishes. Taking action can help restore balance and control.

Final Thoughts

Conversations about emotions and mental health are not one-time events. They must be ongoing, consistent, and compassionate at every stage of a child’s development. When adults talk openly, model healthy coping, and give children tools to handle strong emotions, young people are better prepared to face life’s challenges—and less likely to face them alone.

Summary/Handout:

Helping Children and Teens Understand Emotions & Prevent Suicide

Suicide has been written about for thousands of years. It is not new, and while it may never fully disappear, we can make a difference. Today, suicide is a public health crisis, in part because people avoid talking about it. Silence makes the problem worse. The solution is open, ongoing conversations about emotions and mental health—starting earlier than most people think.

Early Childhood (Birth–Age 3)

Babies feel emotions from birth and understand language before they can speak.
Adults help by labeling emotions and reassuring children that all feelings are okay.
- “I see you’re sad. Would you like a hug?”
- “You’re frustrated, and that’s okay.”
Two key lessons:
1. You have emotions.
2. It’s okay to feel them.

Early Social Years (Ages 3–7)

Children start school and interact with peers.
Teach: It’s okay to feel emotions, but never okay to hurt yourself or others.
- If angry → ask for the toy back, walk away, tell the teacher.
- If sad → don’t hit walls or yourself; use words or ask for help.
Adults must guide calmly and model emotional control.

Preteens (Ages 8–12)

Reinforce earlier lessons.
Add: Always tell a trusted adult if someone is being hurt or hurting themselves.
Children may resist “tattling,” but safety is the exception.
Trusted adults can include parents, teachers, coaches, or pastors.

Adolescence & Puberty

Hormones bring big changes:
- Emotions: mood swings, new attractions.
- Brain: decision-making and impulse control are still developing.
- Sleep: natural shift to later nights and mornings.
Emotions can feel like “tangled spaghetti,” especially in groups of peers going through the same thing.

Talk about suicide directly.

Explain that strong feelings can sometimes lead to harmful, irreversible choices.
Use the semicolon (;) as a symbol: pause instead of reacting. Pause to breathe, pray, or step away.

Help teens create a plan:

Pause. Stop and take a breath.
Reach out. Call a trusted person—have backups.
Do something. Channel feelings into writing, music, exercise, or chores.

Key Takeaway

Conversations about emotions and mental health should happen early, often, and with compassion. Children who grow up learning that emotions are normal—and that there are safe ways to handle them—are better prepared for life’s challenges and less likely to face them alone.